Perfluorooctanoate (Militia Style)

the Daughters of Dawn

lined up in front of their tents

I did not count the tents

17 young women in full dress (counted women)

the dance began slowly

(please picture dancing)

the ninth one in from either side came forward

and from a flap in her buckskin dress

she pulled out a 32gb flash drive

and placed it in my hand before she resumed the dance

a new and more just (not “just” but just) 19th Century was to be delivered

once the archived documents could be studied

and acted upon

Try making a quantum omelette. Half-priced eggs or BOGO!

Lingua Yeast (infected language)

I hate you

But I will not set fire to your house

Because my hate is total weaksauce

I actually do not even know you very well

But nonetheless, I hate you

And your car is safe

I will not cut your brakeline

Or soak your A/C filter with ether

Because at the end of the day

Hating you is not worth my time or energy

You will have gastritis. And I will cackle with glee!

Arsenica Lingua (poisoned tongue)

You cursed me in four languages

Yet I criticized your dialects

You told me I could go to hell

But I chose to stop at heck

We all choose a path

Whether we want to or not

The path you chose for me was wrong

I kid you not

At the base of the foothills

We both showed our hands

A flush beats a straight every time

So here we make our stand

I will not

I cannot

Concede control

And you should not

You must not

Let me know that you know

You must not and cannot

Let me know that you know

The goths were right all along! Adult cutters are kids in training!

Arsenicum

You wanted a homeopath

I gave you a lukewarm bath

You said the soap was full of lye

I said you didn't have to use it

The soapy smell had notes

Entwined with music

I asked you if my words could win me an Oscar

You put a jacket on 'reminded me of NASCAR

Had advertisements for Valvoline and Armor All

When unengorged with blood

A member can seem mighty small

I think I asked you if you'd meet me at the snack bar

I waited hours waiting at the motherfucking snack bar

I'm pretty sure you meant to show up. Please don't listen to your answering machine.

Castrol 20-50

You blocked me in to my own driveway

And then the joke grew thin

No laughs or pointing fingers

You had seriously lost your mind

I called the police and they had you move your car

You called me a pussy the next night at Michael J's

And then it was all laughs

Because you had the gift

Of pulling the long con

We all figured you were right

It was kind of funny in a terror kind of way

And we obeyed you

You had the intellect and power over pop culture

You were politically astute

We all tried to become you in one way or another

But I knew in a deeper level

You had reached your apex and had nowhere to go

But down

There were those who hung on

But over the decades you started talking to yourself

You would excuse yourself and pace the parking lot

Arguing and smoking nonstop

By then you only had a few followers

Who couldn't stand watching you lose your mind

But they kept watch

Distant but almost available

When I heard you died in a fiery car crash

I could only admire your perfection

In choosing a suicide utterly unproveable

I could say I miss you

But it's not you that I really miss

I miss the person I was

The gullible and diligent lieutenant

Who followed you into dark places

And defended you against the inevitable enemies

I miss being led into oblivion

By a super-smart bastard who never stood a chance

And met a fitting end

Don't order the giant burger. It is truly a burger meant for Giants.

Iron (rusted)

You borrowed my moth

And drove it better than I ever could have

So now I have to hug you

It's not that I don't understand

I was "resting on my laurels"

Whatever the heck that means

But the basic idea is that my lack of impetus

Gave you the right to co-opt my moth privileges

You are correct

I was too wrapped up in my own moth

To see that I had a real moth

But now I am a moth

And you have crossed the line

Basically driving like a moth

Leave moth people alone. They are not always car moth.

Clam Juice (organic clam)

You showed me your shell collection

They were all clam shells

Which is great

But not impressive

You started to tell me about clam variety

And while I verbally agreed

I mentally thought you were stupid

Now had you introduced the collection

As a clam shell collection

Instead of a shell collection

I would have considered you a genius

But you chose the wrong words

And that is unforgivable

Think about your words. You may be dealing with an asshole!

Zinc: Redux in Blue

You give me that fish-face

The one where you're mad

And have the face of a fish

Not an exotic or prehistoric fish

But a trout or a bass

A normal fish face

So I respond by taking a bait-stance

The stance I take when I fear your madness

And I become a salmon egg

At the end of a treble hook

And we come together in violence

Your lip, gill, or throat is now pierced

And though you may taste me

You will die before I can become a part of you

And the god that has orchestrated this

Drinks Hamm's and thinks his son might be gay

Fishing for rainbow trout with your son? Brown trout might be the ticket.

Calcium Citrate

Matt Damon brings flowers to Matthew Broderick

Nicholas Cage brings restrictions to Nick Nolte

The pictue hangs crooked

Perhaps the walls are not true

Or maybe things just aren't right

I could give you a parade of celebrities

And cloak the meaning of this nutrient in wordplay

But at the end of the day

We are left with an artwork askew

And a smokescreen of distractions

To hide something so simple and forgiveable

Use wall anchors to protect your drywall. Insurance is a lie.

Zinc 15mg

You brought me the zinc and the strength was 15 milligrams

I listed the actors I know:

Jack Nicholson

Tom Cruise 

Tom Hanks

Tom Sawyer

Tom Collins

Tom Boy

And then I looked to see if the capsules were gelatin

And they were

Zinc has been proven to cure disease. So why are we so sick?